28 Ways Narcissistic Parents Abuse and Their Lasting Effects
updated on
Narcissistic parents use various ways to manipulate, control, and abuse their children, leaving lasting effects.
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step in understanding what you experienced and how they continue to affect you.
From my own experiences with a narcissistic mother, I can attest to how deeply her abuse has shaped who I am and how I interact with and view the world.
Every manipulation tactic a narcissistic parent uses leaves a damaging mark on who you are, how you feel, and how you live your life.
The damage is especially deep when the abuse starts early and comes from the very people meant to protect you.
While many signs of narcissistic abuse are shared, it’s important to remember that each person’s experience is unique, and the effects are as individual as you are.
In this post, you’ll find 28 ways narcissistic parents abuse their children, including adult children, and the lasting effects of each.
This post contains affiliate links. For more information, see Privacy Policy.
1. Subtle & Deniable Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is often subtle. It might be so well disguised that others who witness the same behaviors may fail to recognize them as abuse.
Narcissists excel at creating a charming public facade while turning cold when alone with you. They can be very secretive with their abuse.
Effects
It can be incredibly hard to explain what’s wrong with your parent when they seem so different to the outside world.
When you try to speak up about their abuse, you may face skepticism, criticism, or counterproductive advice.
This leaves you questioning your own experiences, leading to self-doubt and isolation.
It can make you wonder if you have the right to feel the way you do, reinforcing the belief that maybe it’s your issue and making it harder to open up again in fear of backlash.
2. Competition & One-Upmanship
Narcissists are highly competitive.
Anything you do, they can do better, even in negative aspects like illness or suffering. That way, they can keep the attention on themselves.
If you get something nice, they might be envious, trying to take it from you, spoil it, or ensure they get something even better.
And as you begin to thrive, they may feel threatened, criticizing and competing with you.
They might sabotage your success, shift the spotlight to themselves, or claim credit for your achievements.
Effects
This dynamic can make you hesitant to share successes, fearing they’ll be dismissed, stolen, or overshadowed.
Over time, their constant competition can erode your sense of accomplishment, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
You may even give up on trying, believing it’s pointless when they always have to “win”.
3. Smear Campaigns
When a narcissist can’t control how you see yourself, they’ll try to control how others see you through smear campaigns.
They gossip, slander, and twist events to portray you as the bad guy while they play the victim.
Rather than completely make up lies, they often distort the truth, exaggerating, taking things out of context, or twisting your words and actions.
Or And when you react negatively, they use your responses as “proof” that their version is true.
If the narcissist has recently done something awful, they may lie in advance to discredit you before you even have a chance to defend yourself.
In some cases, they may even intentionally abuse you so they can use your reaction as a way to paint themselves as the “victim” of your abuse, also known as reactive abuse.
Effects
Smear campaigns can damage your reputation and isolate you from friends, family, and support systems.
You may have trouble finding people on your side because the narcissist has tinted all of them.
You may even start to doubt yourself, wondering whether you are the crazy one.
In extreme cases, you may even lose a job, get arrested, or face other misfortune or tragedy because of their false narratives.
4. Drama Creation
Narcissistic parents thrive on creating chaos and conflict, whether by stirring up fights, pitting people against each other, or exaggerating situations to provoke reactions.
They may persistently argue over trivial things, turning minor disagreements into full-blown conflicts. Even the smallest perceived “slight” can set them off.
The turmoil keeps them at the center of attention and allows them to maintain control by keeping everyone emotionally on edge.
Effects
Growing up in this kind of instability can lead to chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, confusion, and difficulty trusting others.
You may struggle in relationships, having been conditioned to expect conflict and chaos.
Even in a peaceful situation, you might feel uneasy, as if something bad is bound to happen.
Over time, you may come to believe that “normal” doesn’t exist, at least not when your narcissistic parent is involved.
5. Emotional Neglect & Invalidation
Narcissistic parents often fail to provide emotional support, choosing instead to dismiss, belittle, or completely ignore your feelings.
They invalidate your emotions, making you feel unimportant.
They diminish, criticize, or reject almost anything about who you are and what you do. And they overlook your needs, opinions, experiences, and even cries for help.
“Pssh, you’re not sad.” “Stop being such a baby.”
They may show little appreciation for your efforts or disregard how you feel entirely.
When you express yourself, they may mock you, make fun of you, or twist the conversation to be about themselves.
Instead of listening, they shut you down with blanket statements, generalizations, or labels.
“You are always so sensitive.” “You are never satisfied.”
Even during major life events, such as an accident, illness, or divorce, they only focus on how it affects them.
“How can you get sick at a time like this?”
Effects
Over time, this leads to emotional numbness, low self-esteem, and difficulty expressing and recognizing feelings.
You may feel as if your emotions are a burden, unworthy of validation.
As a result, you may downplay, suppress, or completely disconnect from your feelings altogether.
6. Exploitation
Narcissists see others as tools to serve their own needs, and their children are no exception.
All they know is that they want what they want and will do anything to achieve it.
They’ll use, manipulate, or take advantage of you without regard for your well-being, whether for sympathy, emotional support, special treatment, material needs, or social validation.
If they do something for you, they’ll never let you forget it, and constantly remind you as a way to demand repayment.
Any agreement they make with you will be broken the moment it no longer benefits them.
In some cases, a narcissistic parent may even push their child into harm’s way to avoid facing consequences themselves like absorbing punishment from an abusive partner or keeping a toxic marriage intact.
Effects
This can lead to guilt, resentment, and struggles with trust.
You may have grown up feeling used, unable to assert your own needs without feeling selfish.
Over time, this conditioning can turn you into a people-pleaser, constantly sacrificing yourself for others in search of acceptance, approval, or love – or out of fear of upsetting someone.
7. Gaslighting
Gaslighting makes you question your own reality, memories, and feelings.
When you confront your parent about something they did, they may outright deny it, claim you imagined it, or insist that you’re misremembering.
They may insinuate or outright tell you that you’re unstable, oversensitive, hysterical, unreasonable, overreacting, being dramatic, irrational, neurotic, and/or psychotic.
Effects
Gaslighting eats away at your ability to trust yourself.
You may start gaslighting yourself as a way to fix the cognitive dissonance you may be experiencing: Did that really happen or am I just being too sensitive?
Over time, this constant self-doubt can become crippling, following you from childhood to adulthood.
8. Triangulation
Triangulation occurs when a narcissist involves a third party to manipulate and control a situation, often pitting people against each other to maintain dominance.
Your narcissistic parent might often use other people’s “opinions” or “comments” to validate their point of view while invalidating yours.
They may relay what others supposedly said about you or them, often twisting the truth or flat-out lying.
“They all agree with me.” “So-and-so told me you were crazy.” “Everyone said I was right.”
Effects
Triangulation creates a false image of the narcissist as desirable and supported by many.
It breeds distrust between people, ruins relationships, and reinforces the narcissist’s control.
It’s a form of gaslighting that leaves you questioning your feelings and experiences, because if all those people are siding with them, then maybe you are the problem.
9. Projection
Narcissists often project their own negative traits or behaviors onto others, accusing them of the very things they’re doing themselves.
They may call you names or describe you in ways that actually reflect themselves.
By protecting their bad behavior, character, and traits onto you, they can deny it and then punish you for something they’ve actually done.
This way, they divert the focus onto your “deficiencies” and away from their shortcomings.
Effects
This deflection can cause confusion and defensiveness, shifting the blame onto you while allowing them to avoid accountability for their actions.
10. Blame Shifting
Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they often blame you for their mistakes or shortcomings.
When confronted about a lie or abusive behavior, your parent might deflect, change the subject, or offer vague, meaningless responses.
They’ll blame anyone and anything before they even think to look at themselves. Simply put, nothing is ever their fault.
“You made me do it.” “You made me angry.”
Effects
This can lead to chronic guilt, self-blame, and a skewed sense of responsibility.
You may blame yourself for things outside your control or feel guilty for your unhappiness.
You may also become highly defensive whenever someone questions you, or over-apologize for things that aren’t your fault, feeling responsible for everything that goes wrong.
11. Parentification
Parentification is when the roles between parent and child are reversed.
A narcissistic parent may ditch their responsibilities and leave you to take care of yourself.
They may have assigned you tasks that were never meant for a child.
You might’ve been made responsible for their emotions, well-being, or even their needs, while your own were disregarded.
In some cases, you may have been expected to take care of your siblings or elderly relatives, putting additional pressure on you.
Effects
This can make you feel responsible for your parent’s and siblings’ physical and emotional well-being, as you were forced to grow up quickly.
As a result, you may struggle to live your own life, focusing instead on meeting others’ needs.
This pattern can persist into adulthood, where you prioritize others’ needs over your own, leaving your own goals and desires behind.
12. Emotional Blackmail
Narcissistic parents use emotional blackmail to manipulate and control you, relying on guilt, threats, or fear to get their way.
This can involve subtle or blatant threats that make you feel responsible for their well-being or emotions.
“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t do this.” “If you leave, I’ll have no reason to live.”
These threats may not always be obvious, but they serve to intimidate or control you, leaving you constantly on edge and feeling like you must appease them to avoid consequences.
Effects
These behaviors create overwhelming pressure and guilt, making you feel like you’re responsible for your parent’s emotional state.
It also keeps you trapped, afraid that asserting your independence will cause harm or severe consequences.
As a result, you may develop people-pleasing tendencies and a constant fear of disappointing others.
13. Conditional Love
Narcissistic parents make their affection dependent on your obedience, achievements, or behavior.
This creates an environment where love feels like something you have to earn, rather than something that comes naturally.
Your parent only “love” you when you meet their expectations. And if you don’t, they’ll punish you or withdraw their affection.
Effects
This teaches you that love is transactional, making you constantly seek approval and live in fear of rejection.
You end up believing that you’re only valuable when you meet external expectations.
This may lead you to become a perfectionist, overachiever, or people-pleaser, feeling unworthy unless you’re constantly proving yourself.
You may even find yourself in relationships where you tolerate mistreatment in exchange for moments of validation.
14. Guilt Tripping
Narcissistic parents often use guilt to manipulate you into obedience, compliance, or self-sacrifice.
They might play the victim, engage in self-pitying drama, compare sacrifices, or use past favors to guilt you into giving in.
They may cry, saying no one loves them or that everyone is so selfish. Some might even threaten self-harm to get their way.
Rather than directly expressing their needs or feelings, they frame situations to make you feel selfish or ungrateful if you don’t comply.
“I won’t live forever. You’ll regret how you treat me one day.” “No one cares about me. I might as well die.”
Effects
This creates a cycle of chronic guilt and a reluctance to prioritize your own needs.
You may feel responsible for your parent’s emotions, suffering, or unmet expectations.
You might feel indebted to them, always feeling the need to cater to their demands.
Even as an adult, you may struggle with saying no, setting boundaries, or prioritizing your own well-being without feeling overwhelming guilt.
15. Boundary Violations
With narcissists, their wants and needs are always the priority, even if they pretend otherwise.
This means they have very little respect for your boundaries, personal space, possessions, relationships, and privacy.
They ask overly personal or nosy questions, snoop through your things, and often do things against your expressed wishes.
When you do establish boundaries, they’ll test and push them as much as possible. The more they can get away with, the more they’ll try to overstep.
Narcissistic parents may try to keep you from forming healthy relationships with others, intentionally isolating you from friends, extended family, or other support systems.
By cutting off external support, they ensure you remain emotionally dependent on them and are less likely to challenge their authority.
People are easier to manipulate, control, and abuse when they’re isolated.
Your narcissistic parent may achieve this by badmouthing those close to you, restricting your social activities, monitoring your communication, stirring up conflict, or outright forbidding you from interacting with certain people.
Effects
The isolation can leave you feeling emotionally trapped and alone, like your only source of support is your narcissistic parent.
You may struggle with loneliness, social anxiety, and find it difficult to trust or form new relationships.
It might have also caused strains in existing relationships or even irreparably damaged them.
You may even push people away or shut them out on your own believing you don’t deserve to be loved or that the other person deserves better than you.
You may believe that you’re unlovable, unwanted, or hard to be around, when really, it’s the narcissist that manufactured these feelings.
You might hesitate to reach out because you’ve been conditioned to believe that others will reject or betray you.
This isolation also makes it harder to find support or perspective on the abuse you’re experiencing.
17. Revenge & Petty Paybacks
Narcissistic parents hold grudges and retaliate when they feel slighted, even over the smallest things.
When you do something they perceive as “wrong” or against their will, no matter how minor, they’ll make sure to get even.
Their punishments aren’t about discipline but about making you suffer for “disrespecting” or “defying” them.
These retaliations can range from full-blown revenge or to something so subtle it feels petty.
They may carefully plot ways to get back at you that appear coincidental or random.
They might withhold affection or support, sabotage things that matter to you, publicly humiliate you, or do something they believe is equivalent to what you did.
Narcissistic parents often never forgive even the smallest perceived slights. They store grievances like ammo, waiting for the right moment to strike back.
Effects
You never know if you’ve done something to tick off your narcissistic parent that would garner payback.
As a result, you feel like you have to constantly walk on eggshells or try to please them at all costs, even if you don’t intend to upset them.
You might avoid conflicts out of fear of retaliation or struggle to trust that others won’t turn on you over minor disagreements.
You may even begin to feel like you deserve punishment for simply asserting yourself.
18. Infantilization
Narcissistic parents may deliberately keep you dependent on them, even into adulthood, to maintain control.
They may discourage your independence, undermine your abilities, financially abuse you, or treat you as if you’re incapable of making your own decisions.
They might interfere in your personal affairs or, in some cases, sabotage your progress by discouraging you from learning essential life skills, like handling finances, driving, or getting a job.
Infantilization can also involve excessive babying like using pet names and treating you as if you’re still a small child, even when you’re an adult capable of handling things on your own.
Any of your attempts at autonomy are strongly resisted or even punished.
Effects
This stunts personal growth, leading to dependency issues and a lack of confidence in your abilities. You may fear independence or feel guilty for wanting it.
As a result, you may struggle with decision-making, self-doubt, and feelings of helplessness well into adulthood.
Since you may never have been equipped with the tools or confidence to be independent, you may also find it difficult to manage responsibilities or properly support yourself.
Narcissistic parents often play favorites, designating one child as the “golden child” and another as the “scapegoat”.
The golden child is often showered with praise and gifts, while the scapegoat is blamed for everything.
No matter what happens, a narcissist will twist situations to make it seem like the scapegoat is at fault, even for things beyond their control.
This dynamic creates a divide between the children, which the parent exacerbates with lies and blatant favoritism.
It allows the narcissistic parent to avoid accountability, keeps the rest of the family aligned with them out of fear, and ensures that the scapegoat remains isolated and powerless.
This favoritism can result in strained or distant relationships with your siblings or other family members.
Growing up, you may have felt unworthy, rejected, and misunderstood.
As a result, you may struggle with self-blame, anxiety, depression, and a tendency to people-please.
20. Love Bombing & Devaluation
Narcissists may alternate between excessive praise (love-bombing or idealization) and harsh criticism (devaluation), keeping you off balance and dependent on their approval.
During the love-bombing phase, they shower you with compliments, affection, and gifts, making you feel special and valued.
They may also mirror your traits, creating the illusion that you’re perfectly aligned with them.
But then comes the devaluation phase, where they begin to criticize the very things they once admired about you.
If you try to leave or stand up for yourself, they’ll start hoovering – trying to pull you back in with sweet gestures, fake remorse, and empty promises of change.
This cycle repeats itself, known as the narcissistic cycle of abuse.
While it’s typically seen in romantic relationships, it can also apply to parent-child dynamics, especially with the golden child.
Effects
This cycle of emotional abuse creates confusion, leading you to seek validation from your narcissistic parent while simultaneously diminishing your self-worth.
It also makes it harder to accept the reality of their abusive behavior because of the “good” moments.
You may have fallen for their hoovering countless times, hoping they’ll change or believing this time would be different.
Their unpredictability makes it difficult to anticipate what’s coming next, leaving you on edge.
As a result, you may struggle to let your guard down, unsure if they’ll lash out or surprise you with a gift.
21. Verbal Abuse
Narcissistic parents don’t use words to communicate. They use them to hurt.
Verbal abuse can be subtle, such as backhanded compliments, sarcastic jokes, indirect comments, or insults disguised as concerns, loving terms, thoughtfulness, or gifts.
“I only want to help you.” “You look like you aged 20 years! Just kidding!” “I said you were fat for your own good”.
This way, narcissistic parents can get away with saying hurtful things while maintaining an innocent demeanor.
If you get angry or hurt, they’ll accuse you of being oversensitive or too uptight.
More blatant forms of verbal abuse include name-calling, belittling, shaming, laughing, criticizing, humiliating, taunting, minimizing, ridiculing, and dismissing.
Your parent may constantly demean, criticize, and shame you to tear you down and erode your self-esteem.
“You’re an idiot.” “I’ve never met someone as useless as you.” “No one will ever love you.”
Effects
All the criticisms, insults, and putdowns from your parent get unconsciously programmed into your mind, leading to self-loathing, negative self-talk, and low self-esteem.
As a result, you may verbally abuse yourself, struggle with feelings of worthlessness, find it hard to speak up or express your opinions, and over-apologize.
Negative thoughts and feelings about yourself likely persist throughout your life.
You may also be hypersensitive or easily triggered by any form of criticism.
22. Baiting
Your narcissistic parent may often provoke you into emotional outbursts so they can play the victim, avoid accountability, or paint you as the “problem”.
Known as baiting, this is a form of emotional manipulation where your parent intentionally pushes your limits, knowing you’ll eventually crack.
Once you do, they’ll use that reaction against you to guilt-trip, shame, or justify further abuse.
They’ll bring up past mistakes, compare you to others, break boundaries on purpose, or tease you about things they know bother you.
They intentionally push your buttons, poking at your wounds and vulnerabilities just to hurt you.
They may even shame you about any abuse or injustice you’ve suffered, retraumatizing you in the process and may take the other person’s side over yours.
Effects
You may downplay bad things that have happened or are still happening to you.
Or you might have trouble opening up or being vulnerable in fear that it will be used against you like before.
You may struggle with chronic guilt, self-blame, emotional dysregulation, shame, self-doubt, and relationship problems.
You may even question whether you’re the problem, feeling responsible for conflicts or your emotional reactions, despite being constantly provoked.
23. Sabotage
Your narcissistic parent might intentionally set you up for failure just to discredit, blame, or criticize you.
They may place impossible expectations on you like demanding perfection in school, work, or life only to move the goalposts once you succeed.
That way, no matter what you accomplish, it’s never enough or never quite right.
Everything you say or do might be met with condescension, denials, and accusations – even if you’re an expert on the topic.
And even when you’ve given your best, they’ll hyper-focus on the one thing you did wrong. This keeps you fixated on your flaws rather than your strengths.
At times, they may even actively sabotage your efforts just to maintain control by giving misleading advice, withholding resources, or discouraging you from taking opportunities.
Narcissistic parents are also skilled at twisting your thoughts, emotions, and experiences into character flaws and proof of irrationality.
They may even provoke a negative reaction from you, only to mock or insult you for it.
Effects
This constant undermining leads to chronic self-doubt, fear of failure, and perfectionism.
A single mistake might make you feel like a complete failure, and no matter how much you achieve, you struggle to see your own success.
You may feel like nothing you do will ever be good enough.
It can also create a fear of success itself because achievement has always come with criticism.
Over time, this can lead to self-sabotage and self-defeating behaviors.
24. Comparison
Narcissists often compare you to others in subtle but damaging way to spark jealousy or to make you feel inferior.
Rather than outright saying someone else is better (though they do that, too), they leave the contrast up to you, ensuring you internalize the message yourself.
They’ll praise someone else’s achievements, emphasize how highly they think of them, or highlight how much they enjoyed doing something with them, something they’ve also done with you.
Or they’ll make it clear that their relationship with others is strong in ways that yours with them is not.
Effects
You may now find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, only to feel like you’re lacking or missing out.
You might struggle with low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, unlovable, or never good enough.
This can lead to a lifelong need to prove yourself, extreme competitiveness, or even jealousy of others.
25. Emotional Outbursts & Tantrums
Narcissistic parents often react to minor inconveniences with explosive anger, crying, sulking, or dramatic overreactions, demanding attention and validation like a child.
They expect others to cater to their needs at all times, throwing tantrums when things don’t go their way.
This can include screaming, stomping, storming off, or even breaking/throwing things in fits of rage.
These outbursts aren’t just emotional. They’re meant to intimidate, control, and force compliance while avoiding accountability.
And if you try to call out their childish behavior, they’ll justify it by dredging up something you did that they believe is comparable, even if it happened when you were a literal child.
Effects
Growing up in this environment forces you to walk on eggshells, constantly anticipating the next emotional explosion.
You may find yourself giving in to your parent’s demands just to keep the peace, or bending over backward to prevent another outburst.
As an adult, this can lead to anxiety, hypervigilance, and difficulty standing up for yourself, especially if you fear triggering similar reactions in others.
26. Silent Treatment
Instead of communicating, narcissistic parents may ignore you entirely, pretending they can’t hear or see you as if you don’t exist.
They might suddenly stop speaking to you for days, using silence as a form of punishment.
This isn’t just avoidance. It’s a manipulation tactic meant to create guilt, anxiety, and desperation for their approval.
Effects
Being subjected to this kind of emotional withholding can lead to deep feelings of abandonment, low self-esteem, and a relentless need to “fix” things to regain their acceptance.
As an adult, you may struggle with abandonment anxiety, people-pleasing behaviors, and difficulty setting boundaries in relationshifps.
27. DARVO
DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, a tactic narcissistic parents use to deflect accountability.
When you confront them about their harmful or abusive behavior, they’ll first deny or minimize it. “I never said that.”
Then, they’ll attack you by making counter-accusations or claiming you’re the problem. “Why are you always accusing me?”
Finally, they’ll reverse the roles, making themselves the victim while painting you as the abuser or perpetrator. “You’re the one hurting me!”
Effects
DARVO is a form of blame-shifting and gaslighting, leaving you second-guessing and doubting your own reality.
It can also make others question your credibility, making it harder to find support.
In some cases, it can escalate into a smear campaign, where they turn people against you to protect their image.
28. Physical Abuse
Not all narcissistic paraents resort to physical abuse, as they often prefer more subtle and covert tactics.
But for some, physical aggression becomes part of their pattern of control and punishment.
Even if they don’t directly hit you, they may engage in neglect-based abuse, like refusing to provide medical care or basic needs.
They may starve you because “you eat too much” or withhold medication because “you’re faking”.
However, when they do explore, they may use physical violence as a means of punishment, intimidation, or doniminance, such as hitting, slapping, spanking, or throwing things at you.
They may have confined you or thrown you out in bad weather.
You may have been physically punished for made-up offenses they insist you committed.
Or they may have lashed out at you just because they were stressed, angry, or felt life was unfair, taking it out on you because they could.
Effects
You may live in constant fear, always on edge, worried that saying or doing the wrong thing will result in punishment, even well into adulthood.
Certain sounds, movements, tones, or facial expressions may trigger anxiety or flinching, as they once signaled incoming “discipline”.
You may even have repressed memories or feel emotionally detached as a survival mechanism.
Conclusion
Many of the ways narcissistic parents abuse listed here also fall under the realm of emotional and psychological abuse.
What makes them narcissistic abuse is their unpredictability, subtlety, and the abuser’s intent – their motivation to maintain their false sense of superiority and control.
If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, you likely struggle with a lot of the effects of their abuse. And the impact is deep and far-reaching.
As survivors, we often struggle with low self-worth, difficulty setting boundaries, people-pleasing tendencies, fear of abandonment, trust issues, emotional problems, and so much more.
Narcissistic abuse is highly psychologically and emotionally damaging.
It can be incredibly difficult to identify, especially when you’re in the midst of it.
When we’re caught off guard, confused, or in doubt, we become more vulnerable to manipulation. This allows the narcissist to maintain power and control over us.
But once you begin to recognize how a narcissistic parent’s behavior has affected you and still is affecting you, you can start taking the steps to reclaim yourself.
Healing is a process, but it is possible, even if it’s just one small step at a time.
To learn more about narcissistic parents, how their abuse affects you, and how you can begin healing, I also recommend checking out some of these books.
Many of them helped me recognize and process my mother’s abuse and how it affected me. A lot of the information in this post is also from many of these books.
Hi there, I’m Estee. My own experiences with an abusive mother inspired me to create Hopeful Panda. You can learn more about me and my blog here.
A lot of time and effort is put into this blog. If you enjoy my content or find it helpful, please consider making a donation. Your support means a lot. Thank you!
Begin your healing journey with The Hopeful Planner
