Welcome to Hopeful Panda. Thank you so much for being here.
I strive for this to be a place where individuals raised by abusive parents can come to find information, support, and resources to help them learn, survive, heal, and thrive. But of course, anyone who is interested or can benefit here is welcome. 🙂
I strive to create content that can help you (and myself) as we go through our healing journeys from childhood abuse.
All articles are written by me. But please note that I am not a professional. I am simply someone who had an abusive parent that wants to share my experiences and information I’ve learned that can hopefully help others.
I try my best to consider different perspectives and needs. But everyone is different, thus everyone’s healing journeys are different.
Never feel like you’re not healing correctly, at the right pace, or fast enough. If you find something uncomfortable or not working for you, that’s totally okay! Your feelings are valid. What’s important is that you do what’s best for you.
Hi there, I’m Estee!
I’m a first-generation Chinese-American born and raised in New York City, currently living with my awesome husband and younger sister/adoptee in the suburbs of Florida. (You can read the story of how I got custody here)
I graduated summa cum laude with an Associate’s degree in English and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, with minors in Sociology and Health.
I started Hopeful Panda thanks to my husband’s unwavering encouragement and support.
Growing up, I experienced physical and emotional abuse from my mother, with my father playing a role in enabling the situation. (I wrote about some of my experiences here.)
I am still struggling with the effects of the abuse, but I am in a much better place now.
I don’t have a success story or anything, but I do have one of hope.
The effects of childhood abuse can’t be magically erased, but they can be managed. Some days are tough, but there are beautiful moments in each of them if I look hard enough. And even if not, I hold onto hope that tomorrow will be better.
I strive to heal from my past, enjoy the present, and hope for the future. And if I can do it, maybe you can, too. 🙂
Some bonus random tidbits about me ^.^
I love my family. Healing has been possible because of them. My husband, especially, has been a constant source of encouragement and comfort through every part of this hard journey. I am immensely grateful for him.
Green is my favorite color (as you can probably tell). It symbolizes nature and hope, two things that have been helpful in my healing.
And unsurprisingly, given the name of the blog, pandas are my favorite animals. Penguins are a close second (my husband’s favorite).
Food is a huge passion of mine. I love trying new foods, cooking, and experimenting with new recipes.
In my spare time, you’ll find me cooking, organizing, doing something artsy, hanging out with my family, playing video games, appreciating nature, writing, or eating lol.
And just for fun, here’s a collage of things that bring me joy.
I’m always happy to make new friends, so please don’t hesitate to reach out :).
Tell me where you are in your healing journey, what brings you joy, or share one of your favorite recipes!
Why “Hopeful Panda”
One of the goals of this blog is to inspire hope.
I believe that it is possible to heal from the past, and that feeling better and more hopeful is within reach.
Hope used to be such a foreign idea to me. I didn’t see a future; everything was bleak. I don’t even know how to describe the hopelessness and emptiness I felt on a daily basis.
But as good things started happening to me, or at least I began to notice them more, hope became something closer, something that kept me going.
Now, why pandas?
Well, I just find them so carefree and pure. Have you seen all those videos of them being incredibly playful and fun without a care in the world? That’s kind of how I want to be and the vibe I want my blog to give.
Hopeful Panda isn’t just about hope and healing.
Like how pandas are, it’s also about trying to enjoy the little things in life as best as we could regardless of the hardships around us – like laying back and savoring some bamboo, goofing around with our loved ones, or rolling around in the fresh, white snow like nobody’s watching.